Monday, August 25, 2014

The Ties That Bind Us


I mentioned in my last post my obsession with relationships.
I'm deeply fascinated by them.
By my own.
By other's.
People I have never met.
People with whom I hold no stake in.
Who was the past and present and possibly future?

I want to know what is fought about.
And what is celebrated.
How are those things done?
What succeeds and what fails.
Where are those breaking points?
How do people make it back? 

I read a great post months ago, that was probably written years ago, about the first year of a marriage. It was about the end right as it was all supposedly beginning. It was all fights and anguish and the word divorce. But that didn't happen. Years later, as she sat down to write that post, they were still together. It was amazing, that persistence. I have so many questions. 

I wish I could find it.
I'd like to read it again. 

- -- - -- - -- -
* Unknown as always around here.

Wednesday, August 20, 2014

Full Disclosure


I said it was coming so here it is.
And let's use less metaphor in this post.

I'm a far more straight-forward human in person than I am here.
Not nearly as existential.
Far more sarcastic.
I say shit like cray and listen to Drake. 
Make midnight grocery trips only to purchase Chips Ahoy cookies. 
Chips Ahoy...what a ridiculous name. 
I'm way too sensitive and even more analytical. 
I spend more time talking about relationships than nearly anything else. 
But I don't want them to dominate my life.

That's me. 
I can't find a middle ground.
Or a full-time job.

- -- - -- - -- -
* Oh so dramatic drawing by yours truly. 

Tuesday, August 12, 2014

Where does all of this occur?


Boundaries are definitions.
Those things that make you a being separate from the rest of the world.
Outlines that create.
Delineations that shape.
The defined space of a person.
Those edges will start to blur and fade.
The outside leaks in.
Opinions and questions and words and space.
All foreign. For a time. 
Until there's no way to differentiate. 
And the other has become you. 

So really, who the fuck am I any more?

- -- - -- - -- -
* A Woman in Science