Happy Monday

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I freelance right now. 

So Mondays are like extensions of the weekend. 

Actually pretty much everyday is an extension of the weekend.

I end up forgetting where in the week I am. 

Needless to say my relationship with Mondays is much more amicable than most. 

But whenever I become a nine-to-fiver I want to try to keep my positive attitude towards Monday.

Why spend my entire weekend dreading the imminent return of the work week?

So Happy Monday. 

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* Get this sweet print at The Motivated Type

I Stand Among The Roar

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“Often a bedmate became your best friend. Not just married couples, but sons sleeping with servants, sisters with one another, and aristocratic wives with mistresses. Darkness, within the intimate confines of a bed, leveled social distinctions despite differences in gender and status,” Ekirch says. “Most individuals did not readily fall sleep but conversed freely. In the absence of light, bedmates coveted that hour when, frequently, formality and etiquette perished by the bedside.”

A really poignant article from The Atlantic on why we sleep together.

I slept in the same bed as my sister for years. 
Probably years after we should have stopped being afraid of the dark. 

My first boyfriend in high school wasn't allowed to sleep over, but we would fall asleep together only to jolt awake at four in the morning. Just in time for him stumble blearily out to his car before my parents woke up. (Not that they didn't know.) 

To this day I am far more comfortable sleeping with another person than by myself. 
It ends up being an indicator for the success of my relationships. 
My worst was spent sleeping back to back. 
Barely our feet touching.
The boy and I sleep just like this.

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Completely entwined. 

I couldn't imagine a better way to slip into unconsciousness.

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* A beautiful photo series by Paul Schneggenburger.

** Unknown

The Roads Frequently Traveled.

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I spent a lot of time contemplating the same problems.
Traveling the same roads of my mind.
Over and over.
The why's and the how's.
Countless shower arguments lost or won.
My father tells me not to worry about relationships.
My mother tells me not to worry about money.
My sister tells me not to worry.

But worries are important.
They remind me of what matters to me.
Of where I am in my life right now.
Maybe a little behind.
Or perhaps a few steps ahead.

Those problems I relive.
Those conversations I relive.
Those faces I can see, eyes shut tight.
All things I want to continue to worry about.

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* Unknown, as is pretty typical of this blog.

Color and Light

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That's what it all comes down to.
Just color and light.
All these experiences.
Ephemera.
Passing photons.
Until the next one makes contact.

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I get anxious when I feel like I'm not being productive enough.
It feels as though there is always more I could be doing or learning.
What things could I be making happen in my life, when instead I'm doing nothing?
I'm not utilizing my time and it's running out.

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* Trina Hisdel

This Life

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Oh man, this life is ridiculous.
All of it.
All the time.

So much time spent experiencing it.
Probing it's depths.
Learning.
Only to have it all change in the span of a breathe.

Inhale.
Exhale.
180.

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On a less existential note:

I graduated.
Had a job offer -- refused it.
Started freelancing, but still want a real adult job.
Coded a website -- it's got my face on it which is pretty sweet.
Started dating the boy again.


I'd like to start writing more filled out posts. Thoughts with more depth.
Writing in my spare time has never been something I've done.
That will have to change.

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* From this wonderful blog

Breaking Up Is Hard To Do

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I've been through them before
But never quite like this.

And I've been compelled to write about them before
But never quite like this.

I've been sad before
But never quite like this.

And I've missed someone before
But never quite like this.

So I'm not really sure where to go or what to do.
It's a foreign and unwanted feeling.

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There has been other exciting things happening. This has just been occupying me, sitting in the bottom of my stomach -- writhing.

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*Artist unknown - hit me up if it's you. I think you're awesome and want other people to know too.

Status: What Day Is It?

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I'm not quite sure what happened, but weeks have passed without my notice.
I guess school and work and life tend to make that happen.
I just didn't expect it to go so quickly.

I've been schooling pretty intensely.
In the home stretch.
Final projects are well under way.
I'm excited to be less busy with school and more busy with life.

Additionally I'm job hunting, which I should have started months ago, but just couldn't bring myself to do it.

The boy takes up a lot of time too, but that's a good thing.

Somewhere in there I got sick and never really got over it.

None of this is to say that I haven't managed to have some downtime, because I've definitely made room for Diablo and weekend plans. It has simply come at the cost of sleep.
Priorities.

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Photo found here. As always if it's yours tell me.