This Life

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Oh man, this life is ridiculous.
All of it.
All the time.

So much time spent experiencing it.
Probing it's depths.
Learning.
Only to have it all change in the span of a breathe.

Inhale.
Exhale.
180.

- -- - -- - -- -

On a less existential note:

I graduated.
Had a job offer -- refused it.
Started freelancing, but still want a real adult job.
Coded a website -- it's got my face on it which is pretty sweet.
Started dating the boy again.


I'd like to start writing more filled out posts. Thoughts with more depth.
Writing in my spare time has never been something I've done.
That will have to change.

- -- - -- - -- -
* From this wonderful blog

Breaking Up Is Hard To Do

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I've been through them before
But never quite like this.

And I've been compelled to write about them before
But never quite like this.

I've been sad before
But never quite like this.

And I've missed someone before
But never quite like this.

So I'm not really sure where to go or what to do.
It's a foreign and unwanted feeling.

- -- - -- - -- -

There has been other exciting things happening. This has just been occupying me, sitting in the bottom of my stomach -- writhing.

- -- - -- - -- -

*Artist unknown - hit me up if it's you. I think you're awesome and want other people to know too.

Status: What Day Is It?

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I'm not quite sure what happened, but weeks have passed without my notice.
I guess school and work and life tend to make that happen.
I just didn't expect it to go so quickly.

I've been schooling pretty intensely.
In the home stretch.
Final projects are well under way.
I'm excited to be less busy with school and more busy with life.

Additionally I'm job hunting, which I should have started months ago, but just couldn't bring myself to do it.

The boy takes up a lot of time too, but that's a good thing.

Somewhere in there I got sick and never really got over it.

None of this is to say that I haven't managed to have some downtime, because I've definitely made room for Diablo and weekend plans. It has simply come at the cost of sleep.
Priorities.

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Photo found here. As always if it's yours tell me.

Daring Greatly

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I find it hard to talk about things.
That's not true. I'm actually a really talkative person.
I have lots of opinions and ideas that I can talk about for hours.
What I meant is that I have a problem sharing.
The only social media I wholeheartedly participate in is Pinterest and that's primarily because I love pretty pictures and want to be able to go back and look at them whenever I please.
Is Snapchat social media because if so then I'm all about that life.
But other than that, I'm not big on sharing.
I generally don't tell people where I'm going or what I'm doing.
Not because I don't want them to know, but because I don't feel like it is a pertinent part of their life
and therefore useless information for them.
It's just a mindset I've developed over the years.
It hasn't gotten in the way of friendships, but it does make it difficult for me to do things like blog or Facebook. Can I use that as a verb? It's happening.

I write all of that because I've been reading a book called Daring Greatly by Brené Brown and it's amazing. I'd like to talk about it here.
But I feel as though everyone knows about this and it is, therefore, useless information.
So I've held off.

Interestingly enough, it has been this book that has inspired me to write this post.
Daring Greatly has gotten me to write about Daring Greatly.
So meta.

What this all boils down to is that I've been afraid to be myself on the internet.
Which is maybe the weirdest place to be insecure.
According to Daring Greatly, I haven't been vulnerable enough and that prevents connection.
Even now I feel ridiculous writing all this out, but there we go.
I'm going to overcome my instinct and just write.

If you haven't read it. I highly recommend it. Brené also has an awesome Ted Talk along the same theme of her book.

Disclaimer: I wasn't paid for any of this. Just in case anyone was worried about that.

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*An image from someone I'm following on Pinterest. If it's yours let me know. I'm all about giving credit.

Spring Break - New Orleans Edition

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It is my final spring break. The last one ever. 

I would say it's bittersweet, but it's really not. 

School, even with its long breaks, is an experience I am ready to be finished with.

I'm anxious to pick a job and find out where I'll end up. And then just work. 

But for now I'm in school and I'm on break so I flew down to New Orleans. 

Partially to visit a friend and partially to get away from the winter. 

It managed to snow in Maryland on Sunday. 

It's going to be hard to go back. 

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So far it's been an...exciting trip. I managed to lose my wallet and jacket during the busy (read: drunken) St. Patrick's Day activities. I've since gotten them back, but it looked bad there for a while. 

Before that my friend and I ate beignets and poboys and walked through City Park on a drizzly overcast Sunday. In the span of two days I've experienced two very different sides of New Orleans. 

Which is how any good vacation should start. 

And as great as it is to hit the ground running, I'm striving for a more consistent end to this trip. 

Biking, eating, seeing things I've never seen before. Seems manageable. 

Let's go New Orleans. 

- -- - -- - -- -

* Sorry for the quality of these pictures. My cell phone was all I had on me.

Hey There.

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I'm back.
I'm making a point of being here.
Of being present in this space.

I've set up a schedule. Twice a week I will be here.
Horrible writing and grammar and all.
Maybe at some point I will be able to string all these thoughts into actual sentences, but for now you get fragments.

And I'll be writing about anything.
Part of the reason I was never here is because I feel my thoughts aren't really relevant to other people.
That has been a theme throughout my life, but here's the thing. I'm not writing here for others.
I'm here for me.
Don't get me wrong I'm all about you guys (whoever that may be) reading my ramblings, but
that's not the sole reason I should be here. I have to want it and all that.

So I'm here. I want it.

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* Print by Alphonnsine

Weekends.

Weekends are my favorite. 

For no particular reason. I don't necessarily have more time. 

In fact, I generally have less time than I do on weekdays. 

I also manage to get less done, which ends up bothering me more that it should.

But! The possibility of vast stretches of free time is intoxicating. 

Or I've just been conditioned by societal rhythm. 

Either way.

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The only picture I took this weekend, drunkenly in a parking lot somewhere in Northern Virginia.